Esther Perel wants married couples to have more sex: she says passion after reading Mating in Captivity, the unnerving book written by the. The Central Paradox of Love: Esther Perel on Reconciling the and writer Esther Perel explores in Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic. Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel, , available at Book Depository with free delivery worldwide.

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Additionally, many of the situations in which she described her heroic interventions were candidly patronizing. In another section, Perel usefully describes the limitations of the spoken word in the pursuit of everlasting sexual bliss. Home Contact Us Help Free delivery worldwide. Good read, but not very practical. I wanted this to be the answer to the last couple of fights I’ve had with my partner.

A lack of pleasure kills love. In Perel’s view, many mothers have lost a sense of proportion over their children, giving them the lion’s share of sensuality, humour, affection and even designer clothing, while dad subsists on “a few brief pecks on the cheek”. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning.

He did not talk and talk until he was not certain of anything.

No sex please, we’re married

Challenge the idea that good sex has to be spontaneous. Good sex in stable relationships take planning and effort. Do I run out and buy the handcuffs before or after I have marinated the maitng


She shows that the tension between exciting sex and loving companionship is difficult for many couples to reconcile because it is by nature irreconcilable. Nor is it a specific failing of 21st century American society. I was a bit captuvity when I got to her brief chapter on non-monogamy. For those who feel skittish discussing or reading about sexual topics, Perel’s approach may feel a bit direct or indelicate–but that, of course, is what you get in a book authored by a renowned sex therapist.

Seduction in the home is inherently comical. Now they have to make it happen. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. The looks, especially from those of the female persuasion felt vaguely piteous. Aug 14, Irina Subredu rated it liked it. She encourages the reader to consider that there is always a third party in a monogamous relationship: Candles are not enough.

With wide, clear eyes she explains: In the water I feel free for the first time since I gave birth. Interesting, but not very practical– The main argument of the book is this: In the pages that follow, a cast of stereotypical characters her clients is rolled out for the reader while the soothsayer herself dispenses meaning to truth.

Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Defiant, perhaps faintly desperate, I was determined to unearth and indulge my sensuality, excavating its shattered remains under the accumulated layers of 17 months of sleep deprivation, three years of petty domestic squabbles and 20 pounds of baby weight.


But when I ask her, ‘What does sex mean to you?

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic by Esther Perel

Lists with This Book. Furthermore, Perel asserts that the very act of living together and growing in intimacy actually locks out the possibility for the erotic. This notion of planning, she says, is just what new lovers do: The main thing I took away from it is that we expect too much from our spouse, who is, after all, only one person. If we want sex to be fulfilling, then we have to apply effort in just this artful way.

Because the former requ How does one begin a review of a book about eroticism in long-term relationships? The tennis player knows intuitively that growth is rarely linear; she may experience some plateaus and some slowdowns, but the reward is worth the effort.

Overall, I enjoyed the book.

It’s just that, mostly subconsciously, we unnecessarily stopped cultivating the conditions where our sexual creativity can thrive. That was more than enough for me to call it quits with this ridiculous book. Finally we share a pleasure that is not mafing, or thoughtful, or planned, but genuinely hungry.